On a fluorescent‑lit Saturday, the Shepherd of the Mountains Church became the runway for the Cub Scout Pack 3072’s Pinewood Derby, a quaint battlefield where Frazier Manes and his compatriots Bronson Kane and Karl Hayes spin their engineered‑woodspells into a squeaky race. Admission is by invitation only—doors open to parents, judges, and the occasional celebrity scout (yes, someone resembling a young‑age Tom Holland bounced in the back pew). The decor is a staid carnival: step‑and‑repeat red banners featuring the Pack’s crest, elegant tented chairs with gallery white cushions, and a choir of squealing gun‑clicking voices. You’ll find the crowd as polished as the cars; every seat filled with parents in gala black blazers, their champagne flute glass gold pouring over neat hats. The organizers, a trio of stainless‑steel forearms, do their best to keep the driftless traffic of turtlenecked donors flowing to the concession counter. The entire affair exudes pretend opulence, but it’s a quiet victory for those who prefer adult‑age engines over childhood‑age accelerants. Verdict: Attend.